Java Performance Tuning

Java(TM) - see bottom of page

|home |services |training |newsletter |tuning tips |tool reports |articles |resources |about us |site map |contact us |
Tools: | GC log analysers| Multi-tenancy tools| Books| SizeOf| Thread analysers| Heap dump analysers|

Our valued sponsors who help make this site possible
JProfiler: Get rid of your performance problems and memory leaks! 

Training online: Concurrency, Threading, GC, Advanced Java and more ... 

Javva The Hutt November 2006

Get rid of your performance problems and memory leaks!

Modern Garbage Collection Tuning
Shows tuning flow chart for GC tuning

Java Performance Training Courses
COURSES AVAILABLE NOW. We can provide training courses to handle all your Java performance needs

Java Performance Tuning, 2nd ed
The classic and most comprehensive book on tuning Java

Java Performance Tuning Newsletter
Your source of Java performance news. Subscribe now!
Enter email:

Training online
Threading Essentials course

Get rid of your performance problems and memory leaks!

Back to newsletter 072 contents | All Javva's articles

Diary of a Hutt: The Blonde Incident

Like everyone else, I enjoy a bit of eye candy. And SmallStartupCo seemed to have its fair share of it. But employee no. 83 was one particular one that caused quite a stir. Talk about popular, from the day of arrival to the day of departure, it was like bees around honey. Employee no. 83 was an absolute gorgeous blonde ...


And the ladies in the company flirted endlessly and continuously with him. Frankly it was outrageous. They would bet that he couldn't do this or that act, somehow usually involving him taking off his shirt so that they could enjoy his rippling body. He loved the attention too.

That was when I learned a new term - "Himbo". It was new to me. At first I didn't notice that it was being used. But after you've overheard the same word several times, you realise that it is a word, and look it up. And then I found out something new about myself - I must be a bit of an old fuddy duddy. Because I was slightly shocked. Not shocked that he was being referred to as a himbo. I was shocked to realise that the ladies were completely treating him as a himbo quite openly.

In our current society, men treating a woman like that would quickly get at the very least a draconian dressing down and sent on diversity training. That's assuming you weren't fired on the spot for violating the company rules that cover this sort of inter-personal communication. But it seemed that the ladies in our company could get away with it.

Something in me felt this wasn't right. But I'm not one to complain. So I decided it was best to not do anything. I should be clear about this, in case you get the wrong idea. I did nothing. I have no idea where the rumours came from, for all I know Employee 83 was indeed a holder of several million dollars worth of shares in a recently purchased dotcom, tied in for a couple of years. He denied it, when I told him of the rumours spreading through the company. Though he seemed to appreciate the different level of attention he was now getting, definitely more respectful. "Himbo" seemed to disappear from conversations I overheard, "prime marrying material" seemed to take its place. He confided in me once that he had never had so much attention from so many very obliging ladies. But there you go. Exhaustion, apparently, caused him to decide to move on.

All in all, watching Employee 83's progress was one of the most entertaining times I had at SmallStartupCo. Now Employee no. 78 was a completely different story - but one, I think, for another time.

Javva The Hutt.

Back to newsletter 072 contents

Last Updated: 2023-01-29
Copyright © 2000-2023 All Rights Reserved.
All trademarks and registered trademarks appearing on are the property of their respective owners.
Java is a trademark or registered trademark of Oracle Corporation in the United States and other countries. is not connected to Oracle Corporation and is not sponsored by Oracle Corporation.
RSS Feed:
Trouble with this page? Please contact us