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Javva The Hutt September 2007

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Back to newsletter 082 contents | All Javva's articles

The Weekly Meeting

I have a weekly meeting with my two minions, BlarneyStone and RedLenin. It consists of going through what we all know we are doing. At least that is the theory behind the meetings. Well, actually, the theory is that there may be stuff that we, as a team, don't know that each other are doing, and the weekly meetings are to sync ourselves up to each other's work in progress. But as we all sit within easy earshot of each other, we all know what we are up to.

Anyway, theory is theory, and reality is reality. And the reality is that at 2:29 every Tuesday afternoon, RedLenin is always on the phone to someone, then at 2:30 he says in a very loud voice to whoever he's on the phone to "Oh, sorry, I have to go, my calendar is telling me that the oppressor is demanding a meeting with the oppressed, no doubt to inform us that he's farmed out our jobs to some poor underprivileged exploited sweatshop laborers." Then he'll put down the phone, glare at me, and wander off to get a drink, to come to the meeting room at least five minutes late. I've begun to suspect that there is no one actually on the other end of his phone, as the declaration he makes at 2:30 is remarkably identical each week. I think he just has a calendar popup set for a minute before the meeting with that little speech in it.

So the weekly meeting starts a bit after 2:30 with me in the meeting room, going over the weekly report. By myself. After about five minutes, RedLenin wanders in with his communist mug with its "When the revolution comes you will be first against the wall" motto directly facing me as he enters the room. When combined with his "COMPROMISE" despair.com T-shirt, (which says "Let's agree to respect each other's views, no matter how wrong yours may be"), the effect is always to make me immediately wish the meeting was already over. Which is probably his intent. Aafter another five minutes, BlarneyStone will wander in too, with an excuse that is always perfect, told to us in his delicious Irish brogue. Last week it was "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, I was just telling HighUpGuy how excellently the prod system was running after you found that inefficient request and RedLenin tuned it out, and he wanted to get some details so I had to take him over to the support guys so they could show him the difference", which naturally left both me and RedLenin feeling very positive. Flattery is always so charming when directed at you.

And that's pretty much our weekly meeting. Sure, there are some further items run through but nothing interesting, just each of our status which we all know anyway.

Javva The Hutt.


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