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Javva The Hutt November 2007

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Email Replies

Well, I do appreciate your emails. But where they mostly used to be asking me for advice or comments on Java subjects, increasingly you are sending emails of a more, well, personal nature. And really, I haven't been very good at answering those, I'm afraid. So I'd like to redress that here and now.

Dear Robin,
I'm not sure what gender you are, so I'm afraid that without that rather essential fact, I won't be able to comment one way or another whether I would enjoy that. In fact, it occurs to me that you might not even be all that certain of my gender, in which case the possibilities for activities such as that become quite complicated. I'm also assuming you are not suggesting complicating the matter further with mechanical aids, as that makes the whole thing just far too complex to work out.

Dear Fatima,
I am not of that persuasion - at the moment at least. I understand you feel that in any case there is no encumberance either way for a possible merger, regardless. However, I'm afraid that just now I feel that I would prefer to keep my options open. Also, I do feel that an offer like that, from a person unknown and sight unseen, is unlikely to provide a fruitful venture, despite your guarantee of immense patience and extreme flexibility.

Dear Franklin,
Yes, I am certainly interested in the truth. But while I like to remain open minded about things, there are some things that I'm pretty convinced have happened, and others that I'm sure haven't. Also, the whole lizards in disguise thing sounds pretty bizarre - well actually, the ravings of a complete nutcase. Perhaps you feel that such a decision is a little unfair, that you have your beliefs and I should respect that. But honestly, you and your moronic cult do sound like you should all be locked up and the key thrown away. Oh, and Franklin, if you do "give up Java and move to C#" because I'm hard on you, I think - and I suspect I speak for the majority of the Java community here - we will suffer that loss. Happily. Good luck in your new career. Please move sooner rather than later.

Dear Sid,

Dear "BrownianMotion".
That is surprising, I really did not know that. I honestly would never have even considered how many calories it takes to lick a stamp. In fact the constant stream of daily emails you send me with all those fascinating facts is one of the highlights of my day. Yes, I do think sending the emails makes you a sad loser geek, but hey, it's a life!

Javva The Hutt.

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